Phubbing

Hey hi!
How are you? I hope you're fine. Good to see you back.

Last week I had a get together with my friends. We had a good chitchat in the first 30 minutes had good food but it only ended up like this shown in the above picture. Well that was not the first time I had seen this scene, or you're seeing it. We all go through such scenes everyday. All thanks to Covid 19& smartphones! 

And this very phenomena is called as phubbing.

Making it more simple, phubbing involves using a smartphone while with people and interacting with the smartphone rather than the person or people present.

Now you might wonder & say क्या ही फरक पडता हे! Because Phubbing may seem like a relatively harmless or simply annoying, part of modern life, many of us have even got used to it. But research is finding that it may have a significant impact on your mental health.

How? Lets see!

When someone phubs you, you may feel rejected, excluded, and not important because we all are part of this amazing human race which are attuned to others. 

It in result threatens our four "fundamental needs" --- 

Belongingness. self-esteem. meaningful existence and control

Also the Phubber is affected - Phubbing interrupts your ability to be present and engage with people around you.
The irony is while phubbing is meant to connect you, presumably, with someone through social media or texting, but it actually can severely disrupt your present-moment, in person relationships. Of course, the person being snubbed is the one most hurt by phubbing. But the phubber is affected, too.
Perhaps, most important is that phubbing may be a sign of problematic technology use. Many experts consider a device habit worrisome, when it begins to interfere with everyday life and feeling compelled to text or scroll through the phone during face-to-face conversations may fit that bill.

Phubbing may also hurt your reputation. Phone users are generally termed as less polite and attentive and as poor conversationalists.

If the idea of giving up social media makes you nervous and a little sick to your stomach, you're not alone. Here's a good news, you can get over this as Phubbing is a learned behavior - after all, it's only recently become a problem - and you can unlearn it.
We can always unlearn and learn patterns. That makes us human.
It will take time and some work, but your mental health and your relationships will thank you for it.

Here are 3 ways to stop Phubbing which I have used and have been effective in most of the situation. 
       

3 WAYS TO STOP PHUBBING

1. Decide a No-Phone Time:
When it's time to eat, no matter where you are, put the phone away. Give yourself each meal to engage with the people in front of you and have a sincere conversation. That is an another way or a mean to say you appreciate their existence in your life
I appreciate my Family for doing this everyday as it indirectly contributes to each of our family members mental health.

2. Choose your pain:

As the heading suggests choose your pain, literally. You might feel as if you've lost a limb, but don't be afraid to simply put your phone in your car, desk drawer, or bag - and leave it there. It would be difficult and painful because we all have been habituated to using and carrying our phones wherever we go. But let's choose this pain now. Whatever alerts or updates happen they'll be waiting for you later.

3.Be Mindful:
You don't have to stop using your phone to prevent phubbing. You just have to be more aware.
Remember that it does start with the craving or will of being connected or being available. Being mindful of your actions when you're around other people is a great place to start. You can also ask friends for accountability. If they feel like you're zoning into your phone, they should feel free to call your attention to it.

3 WAYS TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE STOP PHUBBING

If you're trying to help a loved one stop phubbing, here are three steps to get you started:

1. Be the change.

My mentor RC Sir always uses this line as a status to various social media platforms. So I was evaluating on this line and I found it helpful in this situation.
      If you want to silently encourage the chronic phubber to stop, be a good example, be the change you wish to see in that person. Please put your phone away when you're interacting with someone.

 
2. CALL THEM OUT!
If someone you regularly interact with has a habit of phubbing, take the time to calmly explain how phubbing makes you feel. 

3.)  Shift Your Perspective.
If you’re the one being phubbed, try not to take offense or get upset. Remember, the other person is following a biologically-driven impulse. Do your best to be compassionate and patient and let the other person know how phubbing makes you feel and set a boundary that you aren’t OK with it when you’re interacting. 

             I hope you enjoyed reading the Blog and found the techniques helpful and somewhere also found out a way to help your loved ones. Let's cherish our relationships and the 'real' world!

Thank you!

-Kshitija❤️